40 weeks and 2 days

Well, here we are…2 days past my due date. It’s after 4 in the morning and I haven’t slept yet, been to bed 2-3 time but get up almost immediately with a restless mind and heart. I’m having a hard time with my DR situation right now, I hate not knowing who is going to be delivering me. Such an intimate and special moment to be having a stranger at your feet. I’ve met all the doctors, but I was really hopeful that the one I’d seen the most would deliver me and he still might but the odds are low. It’s just weighing heavily on my right now, I wish I had one DR who knows me better and would know more about me right away when they step in my hospital room.

JT has a max of a week to go, next Thursday (or possibly Tues) I am going to be induced. If I am still pregnant on Tues and there isn’t room for an induction at the hospital then I have an ultrasound and another DR appt. I guess they want to examine JT and make sure he’s still doing alright.

I’m so over this pregnancy part and really want to get on to motherhood. It wouldn’t be as bad if I didn’t have the false labor spell last Thursday, that’s made everything worse. Every day makes me wonder if it’s “the day” and I hate that lack of knowing and expectations. I do still love to feel him move around inside me (as he just did) and think I’ll miss that part. Though the rib jabs and extra stretching will not be missed. Soon enough I guess… it’s really not that much longer when I think of how far I’ve come.

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