Today was the big day and all I can say to sum up the day is that God took care of my heart. My heart belongs to my children…they’ve stolen it forever. So, God has taken care of my children, protected them and met their needs in ways I didn’t believe possible so I didn’t even think to pray that way. I thought, that will never happen, so I will ask God for what I think the best case scenario could be!
This morning, I woke Jonathan at 4AM to have a little juice because I was sure he’d be starving in the morning. Even though he stirred when I entered his room, he didn’t really wake easily. I took him to the rocker and tried to get him to drink some juice (he couldn’t have anything after 4:30). He only drank about an oz and pushed it away several times…as if he was saying “what the heck are you doing mom? Can’t we just snuggle and sleep?” And he slept on me and in my arms for a bit. These moments are so sweet to me because he so rarely did this as an infant, it’s not been until recent months that he’s become more of a cuddler. Anyway, the morning came, he woke around 630 crying. Josh got to him first and managed to calm him down pretty quickly. We got ourselves around, gathered our things and headed out the door a little after 7. All with a fairly content but still tired 14month old. Wow, not how I pictured it! Due to a delay in his surgery, we drove separately to the hospital. I immediately turned on K-Love and prayed the whole time for JT’s comfort. I did talk to Josh for a bit and JT was fine. I also talked to my mom and she said if the Lord can silence the mouths of Lions (Daniel), then surely he can take care of a little boy. I cried. Of course, I know this but I was still fearing having to hold him for an hour or more in hunger and in a medical place which he HATES!. I prayed on…
We got to the hospital and everyone was very nice. We had a slight paperwork issue but all in all everything went well and JT was very happy. We put him in the little gown they gave us and he didn’t even mind being undressed…who is this kid? He only got upset when the nurse had to put something on his toe and even then he just scooted away, didn’t wail. Whew…wow…I prayed for patience and that we could keep him calm but I think he was keeping me calm! We had some down time while things were being worked on so JT walked around the room and the hallway, so cute in his little gown and long socks carrying his precious Marvin, he was just too adorable. Soon enough we were ready to head back to anesthesia. I was able to hold him while he received the gas and he hated this part! He did scream for about a minute while the gas set in…this was a bit horrific and I cried. I saw my babies eyes close and his body went limp. He was taken out of my arms and we were ushered to a waiting area. We waited. Time went by very quickly, the worst was over for me as I knew the surgery would be fine, I wasn’t as worried about that part. Soon the DR arrived and told us it was the tear duct was definitely blocked and they removed the blockage. He will be fine…he also answered some questions I had about albinism given Josh has some family history. I have no idea how dominant or recessive it is, just that he is extremely sensitive to light and I wondered if he had anything genetic going on. The DR discussed this with us and confirmed that it is very unlikely there is anything genetic there and he saw nothing on his original eye exam that raised any flags about the sensitivity. What a bonus, I got those questions answered too!
A few minutes later, we were taken back to see Jonathan. He was snuggled up against a nurse, I think pretty quiet. He’d had a few oz of juice prior to us getting there but just wanted to sleep. I took him and cuddled him and rocked him and patted his back, all his favorite position. He fell back asleep on me pretty quickly and cuddled into me. My heart was melting, he looked so pure and innocent and perfect. I don’t know if I’d held him that long that way since his first few weeks of life! Josh took a few pictures as I cried inside tears of joy that I had this little blessing in my life.
After 30-45 minutes, we were discharged and all was well. God had protected my baby (as I knew he would) but also made the morning so wonderful and not unbearable as I was geared up to deal with. Thank you Lord…and thank you for my son’s health. I am so thankful that this was only a minor procedure he faced and he is otherwise a healthy kid. I don’t take that for granted in the least.
This afternoon brought one of the happiest moments of my life! I met my second child! Sortof, I got to see *** for the first time and *** is so beautiful! Oh, I can’t wait to have you in my arms, little one. Having a boy or having a girl had it’s advantages so I didn’t necessarily have a strong leaning (except in the long run I did want a boy! and my daughter could come later) But either way, I knew I would be thrilled. And I was. Seeing that child, seeing all 4 chambers of *** heart, *** little wave, little feet, was so amazing. I believe I am pregnant now! haha…I always need visual evidence, the expanding belly I guess wasn’t enough? Anyway, I am so excited to meet you little one and play with you and teach you so many things. I cried so many tears of joy for you, your health, and what a wonderful addition you will be to this family. Your daddy and I went to Cheesecake Factory to celebrate and daddy bought mommy some jewelry! Shhh it’s for my birthday and anniversary, but I think it’s pretty perfect considering when you’ll be joining this family. We discussed a few names, but nothing definite. Can’t wait to decide on that so I can call you by name. Thank you for cooperating so well and showing us who you are! You seemed quite proud of yourself in there! Maybe you’re a great thinker as you liked to put your hand on your chin…your older brother just sucked his thumb! You also did a good job showing me your feet so I can get you the proper shoes…no worries, you’re well taken care of. Oh my sweet ***, mommy loves you more than ever. Thank you for capturing my heart…
As the ultrasound was ending, I thought the next time I see my *** will be when *** is in my arms! Come on September!
My heart is filled with love and joy for my family…can’t really sum it up any other way. So thankful that God has blessed me with this family. Truly more than I could have asked for.