Life is precious and certainly full of precious moments lately. My sons amaze me. They are growing so quickly and I often find myself marveling at them.

Jonathan…my reserved, tender- hearted 2 year old. I am so in awe of the fact that you are now 2 years old! I had no idea what it would be like to raise a 2 year old but I feel so honored to be your mama. You are a very happy, sweet, polite child who loves to run, march, press every button possible and watch Elmo’s World constantly. I think we may have spoiled you by fast forwarding Sesame Street on Netflix…I love to see your caring personality emerge. You get so concerned when your brother is upset and rush in to help him or look to mama to see what she’s going to do about it. You are very polite, not only with please and thank you manners, but you are patient, and have a sweet spirit when you interact with other kids. Lately your “thank you welcome” all together melts my heart. I’m really glad I’ve gotten to put you to bed more often lately–your baths are always lots of fun as you work on your colors and draw with your tub crayons. I love that you always guess “blue” first no matter what the color is and even when you know you aren’t right :-) I love that you know almost all of your ABCs and will count the stairs with me–you are one bright little boy! One of my favorite recent memories was when you did “apart togethers” with your brothers legs as he was in my carrier–you sure know how to show off what you’re learning at Tumbling class! Also at night, I love that you want lotion and will rub lotion on my legs too, that’s one trait I hope you keep a long time! I always “snap” your jammies even if there isn’t one at the top…you just wouldn’t have it any other way. The weather has been unseasonably warm lately so we’ve already been to the park a few times and out on walks. I look forward to many more family memories this summer and being outside as much as possible! Here are a few pictures of what we’ve been up to…

My sweet Jeremiah- WoW a whole 6 months has gone by! Where was I? Oh, probably exhausted from not sleeping because you my sweet little one won’t sleep through the night yet. But, that’s ok–I know you will in time. You decided you wanted to sit-up and stay up recently and you can reach really far for a toy and spring yourself back upright. How did you learn this amazing skill so quickly? I love to watch you smile and giggle- you are good at that. You love and adore your daddy and he is always able to get big grins out of you. We put you in a swing at the park for the first time last week and you enjoyed yourself, didn’t get upset like your brother always did! I’m glad we get to go outside lots now, I know you are going to love to play in the grass and explore new things. I love to see your playful spirit emerge as you longingly look at your brother wishing you were running along side of him. I love to see you reach out to play with everything and explore the world around you, especially with your mouth if possible! You are so adventurous already, I can only imagine what you’ll be up to when you can get around! Also recently we started adventures in feeding! To my surprise you were very eager to get the spoon in your mouth but your tummy wasn’t so eager for the food. Rice cereal didn’t sit particulary well and you broke out with an eczema rash after some pears. We aren’t sure if it was the pears or just eczema on its own so we are taking things slow. You love sweet potatoes and squash and did well with apples. I look forward to making you food soon with the new Magic Bullet I got for Christmas. I just wish I was doing it sooner for you, mommy hasn’t quite found that time yet.

So my sweet little ones, thank you for filling my days with love and laughter. My heart is full.

Love, Mommy

My darling husband–I so loved that we chose to play Laser Tag for our date night and had a blast together doing so. I also love that I beat you and you didn’t actually seem that surprised. I love that we can still have fun together and enjoy each other despite our really busy days. I hope we can keep finding that time together that we so desperately need, it does wonders for me:-)

Jonathan’s eye glasses came in today. They are a hopefully preventative measure to keep his eyesight from worsening. He currently wears an eye patch every day for two hours to force him to use his weak eye. Crystal and I were surprised at how well he wore them tonight for about an hour and a half. He only complained at little at first and then he seemed perfectly happy to wear them.

He’s also quite the handsome gentleman wearing them.

Last night I took J.T. to Chik-fil-A so we could go play on the indoor playground. However, Tuesday night is Kid’s Night at Chik-fil-A, meaning children eat free. If you’ve never been to Chik-fil-A on Kid’s night, just know that it’s like Black Friday for kids.

So we went across the street to Burger King. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love free stuff, but there was no way J.T. and I were going to be able to play with all those other kids around and it would be hard to even get his attention with the decibel level climbing.

We both had cheese burgers and a lot of fun. It wasn’t anything super special, but it’s a moment I cherish because I feel like it was a good bonding experience. It makes me look forward to the many days and years to come.

So I’ve been back to work now for almost 3 weeks and am just now starting to feel a sense of routine return to my life. It’s been a hard adjustment, honestly harder than I anticipated. I miss my boys, going back was leaving Jonathan all over again and I no longer see him in the morning. Our time is confined to 5-8:30 every night and that time also includes getting dinner together, feeding JJ, and taking care of life. It’s just not enough time.

Thanksgiving was nice. I felt that Josh and I had a good break with the kids. We went up to Lima on Thursday to see Josh’s family and then hosted Thanksgiving for my family on Friday. We also managed to do some black friday shopping and got a jump start on gifts. The tree went up on Sunday and it felt so special to have Jonathan help with ornaments. Of course, he put them on like any almost 2 year-old would but that’s all part of the fun. Seeing him wrap himself in the gold garland beads was priceless–he’s such a sweetheart. I try to spend a lot of time with him in the evenings–which is my new exercise program. Lifting a 27lb toddler up and down over and over again is surely going to burn some calories, right?

Christmas time is such a special time–we went shopping for the boys gifts last night (thanks again M&D for watching them) and I had soo much fun at Toys R Us. I wanted to get Johnny so many toys, but also realized how blessed we already are and he really didn’t need much. But, we made a few selections there and at Target and I am very excited for Christmas morning. I will try not to have too high of expectations, but I absolutely can’t wait to see his face when he sees his new toys we picked out. I am also excited to be celebrating Christmas with Jeremiah this year. I am overjoyed to have both of my little boys and now as Jeremiah is more and more alert and wide eyed, it’s fun to show him the tree and lights and be interactive. He is laughing a lot more these days and I LOVE it, so sweet and special. Tonight, I kept pressing his nose like a button and he would smile and giggle enough for me to see his little dimple. Wonder where he got those?

This is a public blog so I write somewhat cryptically- however I know where my heart is and I know where I am going. While Josh and I still need to officially lay out plans, God has already shown me the best path, shown me what I need to do (actually he told me awhile ago) and I think I am ready to finally listen. We started going to RiverHills again and a few of the sermons were spot on–trusting God, testing God, tithing–I am ready to do it. Ready to trust, test, respond and obey.

My baby is already 10 weeks old, almost 11! I am in complete denial that I am going back to work on Tuesday, I haven’t cried much yet and that has to bet he denial! Here is what has been going on in the Maag household:

Jonathan: his speech improves every day as he adds more and more words to his vocabulary. I’ve noticed he will repeat the last word in a phrase I say almost all the time so I am now trying to end my sentences with new words. He loves to brush his teeth and will go get the toothpaste out of his drawer and wait for it to be put on his toothbrush. When I rinse the brush and give it to him to rinse, he won’t do it without more toothpaste. Knowing this defeats the purpose I pretend to add more taste and he joyfully brushes away. One other new action I’ve noticed, is he loves to run out of the bathroom after a bath and lay facedown on the carpet with his towel covering his whole body. Sometimes he misses and his lil feet stick out–which I promptly tickle. He is such a ticklish kid! He must get that from mommy but sersiously, almost every part of him is ticklish. He has also picked up a few bad habits lately- hitting primarily. I wonder if he started it after seeing me burb JJ? Not that I am hitting my baby really hard, but he sees that action and maybe thinks its ok? We’ve been doing lots of time outs and sadly I gave him his first real spanking. Hoping something sinks in so he stops but I tell myself, this phase too shall pass and the hits are not hard, more attention getting than anything. He still likes to throw things and broke a glass ornament in Hobby Lobby this week and one of my craft ornaments at home. We’re treating this with time outs too and reinforcing that he can only throw “soft” items and balls.

Jeremiah: Our sweet little JJ is doing wonderfully well and still growing like a champ. He’s up to 13 lbs 10oz and 24 inches long! He’s 75-80% for both. He is just a little behind where JT was at the same age but thankfully he’s lasting in his clothes a little longer so I haven’t pulled out all of the 6 month clothes just yet. He is really starting to smile a lot showing lots of personality. He is getting very close to rolling from tummy to back and I thought he would do it this weekend. He loves to hold his head up high turning tummy time and doesn’t fall asleep on the mat anymore. He was on a very good eat-wake-sleep schedule and ever since his 2 month shots last Tuesday has gone off track. He wakes during his naps, cries and doesn’t go down quite as easily. The kids shots are always so hard on me, hurts mama more than them I’m sure. Hopefully he gets back on track soon as it was so nice while it lasted. I am very thankful right now that he is taking bottles better and my mom has spent more time with him lately. I am quite confident he will take to her just fine when I go back. I sure am going to miss his sweet smiling face all day long–whoa, heart is getting heavy thinking about it.

The adults: I have had a great few days to help distract me from the thought of going back. On Thursday, I went to the spa and got my hair cut, eye brows waxed, hot stone massage and facial. It was GLORIOUS. I literally left the spa singing I felt so good. Friday night I got dressed up to go to a jewelry party–was so nice to leave the house for something other than an errand or dr. appointment! Also so nice to get dressed up as I’ve lived in mostly sweats for the past 10 weeks. Then, on Saturday, Josh and I finally celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. We ate at Boi na Braza Brazillian steakhouse downtown and both tried all 15 types of meat. I don’t think I’d do it again though Josh really enjoyed it. After dinner we went on a carriage ride through down town which was awesome. It was also quite fitting as we rode off in a carriage at our wedding. I would definitely do that again and it would be fun to take the kids with us some day. After our ride we met up with some friends at Cadillac Ranch and had a drink before going home. It was a bit of an early night but seemed like a wonderful evening just the same. I got my gift from Josh right after my birthday this year and his gift (still to be ordered) is coming a bit late…but I love the beautiful saphire necklace he gave me and I know he’ll enjoy whatever he ends up getting (he still needs to confirm what he’d like, lol).

We are also shopping around for a new minivan and test drove a few Odyssey’s. We are still undecided on make, model and year but hoping to have one before Christmas.

My hands are feeling much better and I am quite relieved the braces help me so much though they are a pain to wear especially at night. Oh well, it has to be better than surgery I guess.

That’s all for now…expect a more mopey update when I go back to work! :(

Pretty hard for me to believe that yet again work is right around the corner. My baby boy is already 9…almost 10 weeks old! His personality is coming through more and more and he is more of an infant than newborn. He is starting to grasp toys, enjoy his play gym and can sit up (with support) really well. I am so amazed at his development this last month and really in the last two weeks it seems as though he’s changed quite a bit. He is finally on a good schedule now and following the eat, wake sleep routine well. We do need to work on bottle feeding, he’s not taking the medela bottles so we need to try something else and quickly! I go back to work in a week and a half and want him to be taking bottles better by then. He is also really good at going to sleep on his own, I can just sit him in his crib or swing swaddled and he will fall asleep happily. We moved him into his own crib at 7 weeks, 2 days old and it has worked out really well, no relapses and no regrets on the move!

Halloween was extra fun this year, I never knew how fun it would be from a parent’s perspective until this year. Jonathan doesn’t fully understand it yet but had a blast in his monkey costume and enjoyed walking around the street carrying his pumpkin of treasures. He could say “treat” and “thank you” though not as consistently as we hoped. He was still darn cute–and my little banana did very well for being dressed up so silly. I must admit I was a little sad when it was over and now I’m packing up the little Halloween outfits and bibs. Here they are in their jammies and costumes:

Jonathan has become more trustworthy with Jeremiah. We removed our gates for Jeremiah’s welcome party which I love but this also made it harder to keep the boys separate when needed. Fortunately, Jonathan is more gentle with his brother and knows not to disturb him. He still brings him blankets and his paci but is better about not shoving them in or over his face. He is so sweet with him and truly loves his brother. He holds out both hands when I am holding JJ which is his way of asking to hold the baby. I sit him up next to me on the couch and let him take a turn holding him or he helps me burb him by patting his back. One of the most touching moments I’ve had as a mom is seeing Jonathan’s sincere love and concern for his brother when he’s upset. He will give him kisses, pats on the back or look to me to see what I can do to help his brother as quickly as possible. His face says “what’s wrong with him mom, can you fix him?”.

Jonathan is also really into cars right now. He is always looking out the window saying “carrrr carrrr” so I’m glad we gave him a race car bed:-)

I want to thank all of our friends again and my family for helping with or coming to Jeremiah’s welcome party. It was such a joy to celebrate his birth and I couldn’t be happier to be his mamma:-)

One other random side note- I’ve developed carpel tunnel in both hands. I went to the DR on Monday and she advised that I wear braces on my wrists 24/7 which has been helping. My arms no longer burn in pain at night so I hope they heal on their own and don’t require surgery. It’s very scary to have your arms and hands burn and fall asleep all the time.

All, right, good enough for now for an update–this mama is ready for bed

I have often been a person who dreams of the future and very much looked forward to significant moments in life. I always wanted to be married, pregnant, have a family, a house- typical American dream items. But now, I have those things, feel extremely blessed and am very happy. But, yesterday I told Josh I wished I would have treasured the days before our kids came just a little more…can never have them back. I do not in any way regret where I am, just wish we had a few more nights together and days to sleep in. I felt the same way when I was out of college…wanted to go back. Josh made a very good comment, he said in a few years I’ll wish I was in this moment, with our small children. Wow, how right he was! Made me realize I need to stop dreaming so much of the future and wishing to relive the past, I need to live in the moment. This also made me realize I now look to the past more than the future, wow, I’m not sure I like that.

We went to a Pumpkin patch today and had a lot of fun for the most part. There was a huge tube slide that Jonathan loved, he kept wanting to go down over and over. He also had fun playing in a similar tube on the ground and climbing the hay bail. I realized I am a bit of a hovering mommy, though most of the kids climbing that were at least twice his age so I feel justified but I realized I need to let him explore more without always being an arms length away. I enjoyed watching him have so much fun outside and explore so much. We rode a hay ride to the pumpkin patch where he wandered around a bit. He wasn’t too interested in most of the pumpkins and was worn out by the end. We didn’t get to the corn maze because he was so cranky and really ready for a nap. He was passed out within 5 minutes of leaving.

We all had cranky moments today and luckily most of us got naps and felt better (thanks daddy!)…he took care of both kids and gave Jonathan his bath. I love coming upstairs to the smell of Johnson’s shampoo and love living life and all the glory that parenting has to offer with my best friend. He encourages me, loves me, forgives me and strengthens me. I am blessed always, especially while living in this moment.

Ok- third post! I need to say a special thank you for all of the help we’ve received over the past 2 weeks. First my parents, they have gone above and beyond to help with Jonathan, take care of me and bless us through the transition with Jeremiah and the recent health scares. I am so tremendously blessed and thankful for them and I don’t exactly know how to express that thanks.

Second, Megan, she visited me in the hospital bearing my favorite pumpkin chocolate chip bread and pumpkin spice latte–so refreshing when I was feeling so down. I was very grateful for her presence, listening ear and encouragement. I was also thankful to Jen for stopping down in my room twice while she was working to give advice and help me take my mind off the situation.

Also, thankful for the McEnaney’s for a delicious dinner this week–nice to still be getting meals after having JJ and the timing was perfect as we’re still getting back to normal after the hospital stay!

Kendra- through text & phone calls, the support has meant a lot. I hope we can find more time to hang out together!

Elaine- Wonderful visit in the hospital at just the right moment to stay with JJ during the packing removal. She was able to calm him and share her story with me and encourage me. She also came over Monday to help with Jonathan’s eye Dr appt, look at JJ’s incision and play with Jonathan–he loved her! So happy to see him having so much fun playing. What an angel she was.

Thanks to many others for encouraging words and offers of help, we are blessed to be so loved!

Life with three boys is certainly interesting–and wonderful. I love to see Josh play with Jonathan every night. It warms my heart knowing my boys have such a wonderful daddy. This week has been a bit of a blur–I think I’m still recovering from my crazy week last week both physically and emotionally. I have flashbacks to some of the bad moments and they make me cry, talking about it makes me cry, ugh–I hate that. Jonathan went to moms 3 days this week and Monday, the day he didn’t Elaine came to help me. I was fighting thoughts of being a failure last night, and felt that I was missing this opportunity to spend more time with Jonathan. I know I could handle it if I had to, but being so sleep deprived it’s easy to take advantage of help. I’m really hoping for a regular week next week where I can spend more time with my big boy. He is hilarious, sweet, devilish, smart, and I just want to soak up all this special time with him! It’s hard though when I have a newborn that doesn’t like to leave my arms, a house to clean and mouths to feed. I have lots of respect for SAHM, it’s definitely not an easy task.

Here are my two little boys:

Today, I am feeling much better. I rested a lot this morning which I know was good for me, went to the grocery store, folded laundry, and made dinner (pumpkin turkey chili). Whew, how good it feels to be accomplished! I am hoping tomorrow is another good day. Josh is actually off work to do a special project for work over the weekend so I am hoping we can spend some good time together as a family.

Update on Jeremiah: He is doing remarkably well. He had his 1mo well visit and Josh and I both took him. He now weighs 11lbs 12oz (90%) and is 22.3 in long (75%). They must have measured him wrong at birth because I know he’s grown more than .3 inches! His incision site looks good and I think irrigating the wound and antibiotics will end tomorrow. He’s already been off Tylenol for 24 hours and I haven’t noticed him in pain (though now that I think about it, he’s not sleeping great today, hmm).

Also, I recently decided to join my aunts, sister and a few cousins in Gatlinburg in a few weekends! While it’s a bit daunting to think of taking care of JJ all by myself, this is one of my favorite places and I am really excited to go back!