I’m not sure how it happens, but every year I end up with a 3-day celebration. I celebrate the actual day with my little family, another day with my immediate family and then a day with friends. This year was no exception. On Friday, my actual birthday, I was greeted with balloons and cake at work and got to go out to lunch. That evening Josh took me to TGI Fridays with Jonathan and then had presents at home. He gave me beautiful sapphire earrings and an early Anniversary gift of sapphire and diamond necklace…we’ll say it was a surprise ;-) JT gave me Reese’s eggs and all red starburst jelly beans. Saturday was a busy day, we got up to finish cleaning the house because my family was coming over for a lunch cookout. My wonderful husband grilled kabobs in the rain for me along with my dad who also got soaking wet. We enjoyed lunch and more presents–Identify Spa gift card from mom and O’Charleys gift card from Clint. Casey brought some awesome onsies for Ajay, which I am oh so excited for him to wear this fall. Soon after family left I high-tailed it out of there to go to a baby shower–stayed for a bit and then had to head back home so Josh & I could go to the symphony. We had a lovely date at Teak and the Symphony and were very glad our good friend Beth could babysit Jonathan. It was so cute when he came over because he knew what was going on, he was being very shy hiding behind our legs but warmed up to her and was a very good boy. What a relief, I was a bit worried he’d cry and give her a hard time!

Sunday was my birthday celebration with friends, we went Bowling around 3:30 and got a great deal where basically we bowled for ~2 hours at $5 a person. Sweet deal vs. $3.95 a game. After bowling we met more people at Spaghetti Factory, about 20 in total there and 3 little ones. I hadn’t actually been there in a long time but loved dinner and the free dessert. Megan also made me 3 cheesecakes! She knows me so well :-) They were all delicious and everyone loved them–both at the bowling alley and at Spaghetti Factory. I felt very blessed all weekend.

This week has been very up and down for me. I am slammed at work so that has been intellectually draining and Jonathan has been cranky some nights. The combination of the two has left me exhausted. But I am “up” because I get more excited each day to see my baby. Seeing him on the Ultrasound has just filled my heart with more joy than before and I really look forward to seeing him again because hopefully that will be in my arms! I am starting to have back pain and belly pains–back pain from playing Jonathan and probably some from pregnancy and the belly pains I don’t know about. Probably ligament pain, but I don’t remember this as much from before. It feels like I’ve pulled all of my stomach muscles every time I make a slight movement.

Finally, last but not least I just want to say how wonderful my husband is. He’s been putting in extra hours lately to finalize his project(s) at work and it truly shows what an amazing work ethic he has. He’s not lazy or demanding, and he wants to make sure the client is happy. I, however, tell him all the time he should be banking some comp time for this but that is not his priority. Also, every day I think of how lucky I am to have him and what a good person he is. He is truly a saint, I’ve probably said that before but there is nothing malicious or ill-intentioned about him He will always have other’s best interest at heart and I know he loves me more than I even believe. I love him and am glad he is my soulmate– I will try to post more about him and less about just the babes as our family was complete on Sept 2nd 2006…the kids are just welcomed additions. (Learned that in our child raising class at the Vineyard, took awhile to believe but now can see how true it is)

Today was the big day and all I can say to sum up the day is that God took care of my heart. My heart belongs to my children…they’ve stolen it forever. So, God has taken care of my children, protected them and met their needs in ways I didn’t believe possible so I didn’t even think to pray that way. I thought, that will never happen, so I will ask God for what I think the best case scenario could be!

This morning, I woke Jonathan at 4AM to have a little juice because I was sure he’d be starving in the morning. Even though he stirred when I entered his room, he didn’t really wake easily. I took him to the rocker and tried to get him to drink some juice (he couldn’t have anything after 4:30). He only drank about an oz and pushed it away several times…as if he was saying “what the heck are you doing mom? Can’t we just snuggle and sleep?” And he slept on me and in my arms for a bit. These moments are so sweet to me because he so rarely did this as an infant, it’s not been until recent months that he’s become more of a cuddler. Anyway, the morning came, he woke around 630 crying. Josh got to him first and managed to calm him down pretty quickly. We got ourselves around, gathered our things and headed out the door a little after 7. All with a fairly content but still tired 14month old. Wow, not how I pictured it! Due to a delay in his surgery, we drove separately to the hospital. I immediately turned on K-Love and prayed the whole time for JT’s comfort. I did talk to Josh for a bit and JT was fine. I also talked to my mom and she said if the Lord can silence the mouths of Lions (Daniel), then surely he can take care of a little boy. I cried. Of course, I know this but I was still fearing having to hold him for an hour or more in hunger and in a medical place which he HATES!. I prayed on…

We got to the hospital and everyone was very nice. We had a slight paperwork issue but all in all everything went well and JT was very happy. We put him in the little gown they gave us and he didn’t even mind being undressed…who is this kid? He only got upset when the nurse had to put something on his toe and even then he just scooted away, didn’t wail. Whew…wow…I prayed for patience and that we could keep him calm but I think he was keeping me calm! We had some down time while things were being worked on so JT walked around the room and the hallway, so cute in his little gown and long socks carrying his precious Marvin, he was just too adorable. Soon enough we were ready to head back to anesthesia. I was able to hold him while he received the gas and he hated this part! He did scream for about a minute while the gas set in…this was a bit horrific and I cried. I saw my babies eyes close and his body went limp. He was taken out of my arms and we were ushered to a waiting area. We waited. Time went by very quickly, the worst was over for me as I knew the surgery would be fine, I wasn’t as worried about that part. Soon the DR arrived and told us it was the tear duct was definitely blocked and they removed the blockage. He will be fine…he also answered some questions I had about albinism given Josh has some family history. I have no idea how dominant or recessive it is, just that he is extremely sensitive to light and I wondered if he had anything genetic going on. The DR discussed this with us and confirmed that it is very unlikely there is anything genetic there and he saw nothing on his original eye exam that raised any flags about the sensitivity. What a bonus, I got those questions answered too!

A few minutes later, we were taken back to see Jonathan. He was snuggled up against a nurse, I think pretty quiet. He’d had a few oz of juice prior to us getting there but just wanted to sleep. I took him and cuddled him and rocked him and patted his back, all his favorite position. He fell back asleep on me pretty quickly and cuddled into me. My heart was melting, he looked so pure and innocent and perfect. I don’t know if I’d held him that long that way since his first few weeks of life! Josh took a few pictures as I cried inside tears of joy that I had this little blessing in my life.

After 30-45 minutes, we were discharged and all was well. God had protected my baby (as I knew he would) but also made the morning so wonderful and not unbearable as I was geared up to deal with. Thank you Lord…and thank you for my son’s health. I am so thankful that this was only a minor procedure he faced and he is otherwise a healthy kid. I don’t take that for granted in the least.

This afternoon brought one of the happiest moments of my life! I met my second child! Sortof, I got to see *** for the first time and *** is so beautiful! Oh, I can’t wait to have you in my arms, little one. Having a boy or having a girl had it’s advantages so I didn’t necessarily have a strong leaning (except in the long run I did want a boy! and my daughter could come later) But either way, I knew I would be thrilled. And I was. Seeing that child, seeing all 4 chambers of *** heart, *** little wave, little feet, was so amazing. I believe I am pregnant now! haha…I always need visual evidence, the expanding belly I guess wasn’t enough? Anyway, I am so excited to meet you little one and play with you and teach you so many things. I cried so many tears of joy for you, your health, and what a wonderful addition you will be to this family. Your daddy and I went to Cheesecake Factory to celebrate and daddy bought mommy some jewelry! Shhh it’s for my birthday and anniversary, but I think it’s pretty perfect considering when you’ll be joining this family. We discussed a few names, but nothing definite. Can’t wait to decide on that so I can call you by name. Thank you for cooperating so well and showing us who you are! You seemed quite proud of yourself in there! Maybe you’re a great thinker as you liked to put your hand on your chin…your older brother just sucked his thumb! You also did a good job showing me your feet so I can get you the proper shoes…no worries, you’re well taken care of. Oh my sweet ***, mommy loves you more than ever. Thank you for capturing my heart…

As the ultrasound was ending, I thought the next time I see my *** will be when *** is in my arms! Come on September!

My heart is filled with love and joy for my family…can’t really sum it up any other way. So thankful that God has blessed me with this family. Truly more than I could have asked for.

Well, April 7th 2011 will certainly be a big day for us. One of the best and worst of my life. Jonathan has his surgery this morning and surprise surprise, I’m up in the middle of the night with a restless mind. Jonathan and I had a lot of fun last night as we chased each other around the ottoman. It’s one of his favorite games to play and he laughs to hard all the time! It’s a game of chase but with a constant change of whose changing whom. And nowadays, his walking/running is faster than my crawling! I love to see his sweet face light up with joy as we go round and round and he tries to get away and then suddenly tries to get mommy! So fun! He also discovered he could climb on my lap then climb up on the couch–he mastered this tonight by repeating this action over and over again. He’s gotten good at getting off the couch himself though occasionally, I catch big tumbles! But, he was so proud to get up on the couch “by himself”.

God has answered part 1 of my prayer for his surgery–that he would stay up later than usual so he could eat a snack and his milk would be more filling. He can’t have anything other than clear liquids after midnight, and nothing at all after 4:30. For a kid that usually is up at 6-7 crying for milk, this is not good if he has to wait until after his 8:45 surgery. Thankful he had his snack and enjoyed playing so much…took a bath at 9:00 and went down at 9:30. These days 7:30-8 is more normal for bedtime.

I plan to wake him at 4:00 to give him juice, in a perfect world, and prayer request #2 is that he will wake on his own or at least stir so it’s less of a disruption. Prayer #3 is for a calm morning, that JT will sleep in and not cry for too long and not be too upset. Prayers too for me and my nerves. I threw up tonight, not sure if it was nerves, pregnancy or the migraine I was fighting. People can pray for Josh too–but nothing specific, he’s doing a great job at keeping us all together and probably just needs prayers to handle me!

My little boy will be fine, God told me so. But, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t break my heart to go through this…and then my mind goes to how much worse things can be and how much harder other people have it. I realize that, and am thankful for my son’s health, happiness and bright future.

OH…and tomorrow I get to tell Jonathan if he gets a little brother or a little sister! Will be the first time I get to lay my eyes on my second baby and I can’t wait! I love this child so much and can’t wait to give him or her a name (and new wardrobe, haha) and finish out this pregnancy. 19 weeks today and going strong…